Monday, December 22, 2003

Faux President Bush would like:

for you to shit inside of your pants. The color of the day is Orange folks.
And orange is designed to scare the poopie out of your bottom and into your pants. But if the color isn't going to do it for you, he's got a few other tools to help get the job done. Firstly, he'll be racing very expensive fighter jets back and forth over your town, and moving "strategeric" weapons around under your nose. Missiles and stuff like that. And if that doesn't do it for you, he's got Fox News and all their cohorts in his pocket to tell you that you're likely to be bombed off your ass by some terrorists today or at least by tomorrow for sure, and that's
why we need all these extra machine guns around. Machine guns are really good for rooting out terror. Nothing will make you more relaxed than a bunch of 17 year old high school drop outs jacking off in the public toilets at the mall, and then standing around looking at you funny while wearing fatigues and toting a machine gun around your favorite toy store at christmas time. Relax. You're quite safe here. (now go gas up your ford excrement and buy some stuff.) United we stand, (on the throats of any who stand in our way). In the name of profit, (i mean progress) we shall overcome (the desire to live within reason).

God Bless America! (and no one else, OR ELSE.)

Buy Stuff! Watch Football!! The Machine Gun is your friend!!!

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