friday in the hook

i was looking on the news this morning, and i see that the reporter who brought that whole outing a CIA operative to world gets to tell her story, and it turns out the source was dick cheney's chief of staff. I mean, that seems to me like it's mixed up at a pretty high level. I mean, that to me seems like there's some white house involvement here. Isn't there anything that will grab the attention of the public in a way where somebody somewhere will say, "alright man. enough's enough. what the hell is really going on here?!" Between that and the Tom Delay incident, compounded by the hurricane katrina fiasco, and the people's growing concern with the War in Iraq, i would think people should start to really wonder what's going to start coming down the pipes from washington. But it's a funny world that way. People don't seem to mind all these red flags. I can't be sure if it's because of reality television, or because mortgage and energy rates are climbing. I mean, people keep telling me that losing my job should be a wake up call for the way i do things, but my word, what about the wake up call for the way our government does things? I mean, i feel pretty awake. Yes. i got my wake up call. i'm awake. i've inserted a little video here to illustrate what it feels like. You can apply this animation to my thoughts on bush and his cronies (the penguin with the big wing) and the citizens of the united states (the penguin that is sort of walking along behind him) Wake Up MAN!

today i've got to tear the house apart downstairs and put the buff and polish on the floors and stuff. I was sitting at the table eating some left-over catering that a friend from the studio brought over last night, and i kept seeing this little mouse running back and forth behind the fridge in the kitchen.

At first, i didn't mind it, because to be honest, i don't mind mice. i think they're pretty cute. When i had an old farm house in santa rosa back in 1991, we had some mice in there. they were the little brown ones with the white chest, and i thought they were pretty cute. I mean, sure i didn't want them eating the food out of my cupboards, but you know, they're just little mice. they're not like cockroaches or subway rats. so, i put an old steamer trunk in the back yard, and put some snacks in there for them to make it a home of their own. Over time, they did move out there, and it was like a fairytale home for them. I think there were only 2 or 3 of them if my memory serves me, but i remember i used to go out there and open up the steamer once in a while and see how they were doing. It was a farm house you see, we had goats and cows and sheep. there were apple and fig trees, it was a cute little house with windows that would rattle in the winter, and a giant field alongside Mark West Springs. There was a big ol' tree back there with a rope swing, and the front yard sat across from a big vineyard that had roses growing along the roadside all around.

I had a room mate at the time who didn't like the mice, and that's why i made a little place for them outside.

Well, one day i went out there, and opened up the steamer to look inside and it was a bit like the Jim Jonestown Massacre from back in the day. All the little mice were curled up in one of the drawers, in their little beds, dead dead dead. I couldn't understand it, and on closer inspection i saw that my roomie had put rat poison inside their house. It made me so angry, because they were cute little creatures, and they sure weren't bothering anyone outside, but it's something that has bothered me ever since. I booted that roomie, because i couldn't understand the mindset of someone who needs to poison animals in nature, living outside of your home.

so last night i saw that little mouse running back and forth, and i thought he was kind of cute, but knew that my roomies here would go bananas if they saw a mouse running around the kitchen, and quite frankly, my yard and neighborhood is lousy with feral cats, which i prefer much less than cute little gray mice.

while i was in mexico, an exterminator came and went all through the house kicking mouse ass. When i came home those banana traps were all around the house, (those sticky pads) under the beds, behind the steam heaters, pretty much everywhere in the house along a wall where a mouse might like to scurry along in the open. And for a few weeks i didn't mind the traps because it gave the girls piece of mind seeing no mice trapped on them. Eventually, i got bored of them though, because the sticky traps and swiffers don't really mix well. Plus, redhook being so industrial is a very dusty place, so the little traps were just getting covered in dust and the autumn flies. So, i decided, i'd better put a trap down in the path of the little mouse so that none of the girls would have to freak out if they came and saw a mouse one night.

a guess about 20 minutes later i heard the sound you hear when a mouse has been trapped and is calling for help. it wasn't a desperate cry so much as a cute little mousey squeak, and i knew i had caught the little guy, but wasn't sure what i was going to do about it.

Eventually i got up and went over to the fridge, and sure enough, there was the little guy i had seen scurrying along the wall by the back door. he was a little gray mouse, a tiny little guy with big black eyes. He had a very smooth little coat, and cute little feet. But he was fucked. his limbs were folded under him, and his little belly was stuck to the mat. He was pretty scared i would say. i could see him trying time and again to struggle free, and i felt miserable looking at him, the cute little guy fairly well maimed by being stuck to this little banana trap. I knew there was no freeing him from the trap, it was pretty much the end of the line for him, and the traps are designed cleverly enough that you just fold them in half, crush it like you were sealing a ziploc, and toss it in the trash.

That made me feel even worse about it. but i knew that none of the girls would be able to do it, and there was nothing else to be said or done about it, aside from i was going to have to kill this little guy. So i looked at him, and tried to pet him a little to calm him down with my index finger and though i knew he probably didn't speak english, i hoped he would understand what i was saying, and i told him that i was sorry, but i would have to end his little life as a town mouse. His little eyes were looking at me, and of course he was terrorized by his situation, and there was a moment where i'd like to think we connected and he understood what was about to happen, but it was a terrible feeling. it made me wonder how people can kill things at all.

Not wanting to drag it out, i simply folded the trap in half, and closed the edges. Of course, the mouse was still alive between the folds of his little banana blanket, and i realized i had better make it fast and simple. Should i put it on the floor and just stomp on the mat as heavily as i could? it didn't feel right to me. to extinguish such a little life under foot. and so, i felt along the surface of the trap with my fingers, i could feel his little body struggling to breathe, and once i found where his little head was, i rubbed gently over his head with my thumb, and got my forefinger under his chin from the bottom and i crushed his little head between my thumb and forefinger. then, again like sealing a ziploc bag, i used my thumb and forefinger to crush every bone in his little body, all the while feeling i was commiting a sin against nature, and feeling the misery of killing something so tiny and helpless.

then of course i had to take the trap outside and put it in the trash. doesn't feel right, not the same as crushing a roach in that sense, dropping a little animal you've just crushed between your fingers into a shitty redhook trashcan on the roadside, but what else is there to do?

me, i don't like the sticky traps, and i am inclined to throw them all away today. i'm not like a Peta File but i don't like taking the life out of something just trying to get by. Maybe if i put a picture i made of a pretty girl in the text, it will take my mind off of my murdering ways.

try not to picture her $400 dollar boots crushing a little mouse under them in her next step.

dtown 64˚ and sunny. Smells like diesel

not a sound

last night i spent some time processing information inside of my brain. the thing about my brain is it's chock full of information. it's like a sponge. You know, my friend Doctor Jay out there in Sonoma County, California (a little known direct descendent of Johnny Appleseed himself) we used to sit around getting stoned on the porch, (*disclaimer: alright, i can't say if he ever actually inhaled or not, but i sure as hell did) and we would be filled with these profound thoughts... like how very fucking bright we were. And He came up with this idea, to write a book called "My Brain, The Sponge" and it would be filled a chronicle of our immense knowledge and understanding of all things in the world. I had this idea that folks could call me Danny Weed Seed, and what i was going to do was go around the country dropping weed seed all over the place, so that over time the yerba buena would be growing all over the place. It was brilliant. but i guess i forgot. I mean, we worked on the marketing and everything, but you know how it is, you get caught up in your other stuff, like paying rent, listening to the new music, what have you, and before long the weedseed project was only a memory.

so anyway, i was thinking about a few of the partitions filled with data in my skull, and got to thinking about books i've read, and people of met, and times i've had and all of those things, you know, packing bits, and rock and roll type stuff. People that didn't get me as a punk rock kid in redneck new hampshire and folks that did get me as a left wing christian liberal artsy fartsy type in heaven. Sure. I spent some time with The Lord. Where else would you want to learn about photography? Think about it.

well anyway. i had the house to myself. you know, Mio's in Japan, CJ crashes in the corner penthouse over yonder, and becca was out to timbo's place, so i was listening to the ghosts and stuff. my house is either haunted or falling over. I'm leaning toward the it's falling over odds, because it really is.

i spent about 4 hours just going over the details i've gathered from my removal from the studio, and i still disagree with it, even though i understand it now. I went and had a few stellas and some chicken wings with my boss to talk about exactly why i was let go. And now i'll tell you why it happened so that you can know too.

i made the boss have stress. And that stress made the boss worry. He was worried that i would say or do something catastrophic to the business, and felt that my way of doing things put the company at too great a risk.

when you make the boss have stress, he's sure to let you go. And while i was on vacation, he didn't feel any stress, so click. like a lightbulb turning on in the brain, an idea was born. dump connortown, and your stress is gone. easy as that.

now, i personally feel there are better ways to deal with it. Like you, or even your mom, everyone has some stress. and sometimes you don't like to hang out with your mom because she stresses you out. But typically you don't can your mom. You would maybe have a talk with her about it when you have this epiphone.

but what i've learned is that not everybody handles things the same way. And this was his way of handling it. like it or not, when you work for somebody, they get to call the shots.

after a little more tossing and turning i kissed the ducky and the bunny good night and drifted off to sleep. at least now i can explain why it happened. Was it a bad decision? well. i think so, but that's just my wallet talking. i guess we'll just have to wait and see.


so today is fucking cold out. I mean, i feel like a sissy saying that 65˚ is cold, but i guess i'm just not adapted yet. 65 is fine man. it's not like, Minus 40 or something.

um, i put some new links on the blog, check 'em out. one of them is called Wall Eyed, and it's about signs found on walls.

I'm still trying to figure out some of the issues with the blog's code, but i don't like spending days tethered to a 700mhz emac. i mean, i guess it's faster than old puddly, my G4 at shootdigital, but the weather up until today has completely kicked ass, and i wasted it sitting at my chair trying to figure out a blog for pete's sake.

and i think i broke my little toe this morning. the little one on the left. I went out into the hallway and smashed it with tremendous force into the door jam. Those of you who have met me know how powerful my legs are, and for those who haven't, just imagine the power and force of a 4 ton log splitter. i'm a fucking monster. I mean Lance Armstrong has nothing on these. So i have to limp a little now. But it's not really a limp, it's more like i'm favoring an off camber instep.

alright. no pictures for you today. i've got to figure out some of these little bugs.

love and kisses,
dtown 61˚ and the sun is just peaking through the clouds now.

my trailer park

Yo! in a country where excess is success, i've now got three blogs. HA! one is a tester that you'll never see. the other is the one i've been building and you've been seeing, but it took a giant crap the other day, and i think it's the kind of giant crap that goes under the category of "shit the bed". So i'm working between those two to try and revive the old posts and what not, but in the meantime, i've set up this temporary trailer to park my verbage.

holdin' it down

aw man. i tell you what. i'm coming from the 24hr bodega here in the hook. cheggin' out the video where a brutha's holdin' it down. i mean, this guy's rockin' it coast to coast. and i'm sippin the Raz. smokin' the camels. trying to see if this blog even works dawg. THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

sippin the absynthe. doin' it and doin' it.

dtown 70˚

autumn comes

right, right, write.
today is all about tuning man. trying to tune it. get it tuned. listening to down like disco kind of on repeat, because there's something fluffy about it that works today. i'm even considering throwing it up on here, making like, an mp3 link or something, but i don't want them dandy's getting irked that i give their music away, but music is free man. i mean, well. that's not true. Sound is free, and i suppose if i pay for the up and download streaming, maybe they don't mind? maybe it makes you go buy their album? maybe it makes them think they're getting some free advertising? Hell. what the fuck do i know what they think? but that's how it's playing over here today.

over the weekend redhook got its first cruise ship. long about 8:15, or no, i guess it was more like 8:45 or so i heard the horns of that ship is she rolled on by, one block west of conover, coming up the east river. Big ol' boat, and did a little u-turn in front of the new landing site, got roped to shore and off came a couple of hundred old folks with wheel chairs and old nikon FM's strapped to their necks. They had no idea where the hell they were, and you know redhook, it's not like, one of those places that if you get plopped on the sidewalk, you would have any idea where you were either. But it was a morning i'll remember. I remember getting Mio into one of them car service lincolns and off to JFK>Japan and it was like, 60˚ out there and breezy, and i think in the shade it was dipping to 50. There were cops. More cops than i've ever seen in redhook before. they were coming in the windows. Two or Three of them on every corner saying things like, "You can try." or, "do you have a permit?" it was a real pleasure walking around my own neighborhood with a camera for a few hours. I did however "try" as one officer recommended, and i was able to get right on up to that boat. It was cool because usually you can't get back behind them fences without getting bit by some rabid assed mangy dogs with bad teeth. It's one of the few places left out here that isn't overcoated with the works of neckface, or UFO, or get bent, or any body else with a spray can in this town. In a way it was like this blank canvas, walls of corrugated steel and weathered concrete, no heaping piles of illegally dumped refuse and broken bottles. I mean, NOT FOR LONG, but it was nice to see there are still places folks with a couple of custom nozzles and a backpack full of krylon haven't been able to penetrate. I thought i was in the country or something.

In the end the ship's arrival was little more than a photo-op for the powers that want to turn the last frontier of brooklyn into the next west village, and drive us all out of here by hiking the rents to 3 or 4 grand for a studio apartment on the water, but you know? that's the story of new york city. The only thing that doesn't change is somebody absolutely pay more than you for your shitty little apartment that's falling over and doesn't have much water pressure, and is a hell of a walk up, but you know, that's why it was cheap. And in a few years, 2 or 3,000 dollars for a 600 square foot studio with no subway around it will seem like peanuts. (unless of course you don't happen to be one of them hummer drivers with bags of surplus cash piled in the corners of your grandaddy's warehouse space out by Lorimer.) In which case you'll keep making your 32k per year and just keep moving deeper east. Or (my guess) is that it won't be taboo to live in New Jersey. They'll probably just call it New New York or something, so that it will seem cool to go there. But either way, you're looking at a 2 hour commute on public transit to get to your 32k day job.

but i'm just speculating. I mean, with Bush in charge, maybe he'll subsidize all the housing in the country, and if it turns out you make under $106,000.00 per year, you'll get a subsidized rent stabilizer module, that makes your rent an even steven $750 per month, no matter where you live, and you get free healthcare and a membership to crunch. (providing you don't raise an eyebrow when halliburton gets the no-bid contract on revitalizing your neighborhood)

Oh, it's good it's good it's good. don't worry about it. i was just thinking about it, but you don't have to worry man. Bush won't do that to you. it's a free market out there. you can count on $3500 rents in the projects. they're coming. Probably what they'll do is boot all the "riff raff" out of the projects and turn them into Luxury Condos for white people that want to see cruise ships along the waterway. It'll make that little "dangerzone" between cobble hill / carrol gardens / and redhook a sexy little parking lot for the new Hummer H3's and those new Range Rovers with superchargers in them. You'll be able to shop at ikea and stores like West Elm will begin to appear where once only impoverished puerto ricans with fishing poles and second hand bicycles ruled the streets. The future is at hand people.

anyway. i haven't got any pictures to post today because i didn't take any yesterday. or at least none that i remember, but that's why i'm sitting here now. i'm trying to sort out some of the kinks with using a blog. you know, a blog isn't the way i want to do text on this site, but the catch is, i was so busy with work it seemed the only logical solution. As it turns out, now there's no work, but i don't feel like going to the hassle to switch it all back now, so i'll try and tweak it a little bit this afternoon.

in the meantime, dust off your umbrellas and start airing out your winter coats. summertime is now just a thing to remember, and before you know it, the leaves are going to be clogging your gutters.

keep it real, play All the Money Or The Simple Life Honey to keep yourself in check.

works for me.

dtown 78˚ waiting on that rain

getting caught up

well, i'm getting to the point where i feel close enough to caught up on those summertime images. Today's update are the links numbered 08 thru 11. what happened in there? well there was the continuation of the Leaf Party held at Sd. The sort of party after the party. There’s a trip I made up to Vermont with some friends for the 4th of july, some new yorky stuff, including a recent shot of my favorite toilet in its current parking spot at E19, and you’ll also see a VERY RARE image of rocker Scott Stanton performing as Bono, singing Vertigo on a rooftop in NoHo … and then there’s the Sd Retreat, which I can say was a very good time indeed. Plenty of food, plenty of tequila, and plenty of good times. I’ve come to think of that event as my sort of last supper, as I was crucified the following Monday. It actually was a relatively biblical experience in many ways.

In other news, the dandy warhols put their new record out, and I’ve been giving it the ol’ thumbs up. Rolling Stone sort of gave it the bird, but I think Rolling Stone is a pretty washed up magazine, at least for the past 3 or 4 years, and I don’t go for their opinions on music. I think I’ve got a pretty good sense of when a record is good or not, and I happen to like this one.

Not much else to report. I’ve got to make some lunch and take care of some laundry. I was thinking I’d sweep and mop the floors in the living room today, (oh yea, my living room is in the update today too. You can see where I sit and play BurnOut 3 on my playstation while I’m waiting for images to process or what have you.)

I feel like there are some images from the summer that have disappeared, but if they turn up, I’ll get them posted for you.

Went to a housewarming party for Jackie and Jens last night out in the eastern burg, and it was good times. Played this card game called Donut. And there were nachos to eat and stuff like that.

Today being Friday, there is still no word on the touchdown of hurricane rita, but I heard there was a hell of an incident involving a busload of patients being evacuated from the hospital and some fire complicated by the presence of oxygen tanks. My word, that seems like a horrible way to go. My thoughts are with those who were only trying to get out of God’s way.

Let’s see what this kooky month has in store for us comes the tail end of it.

Keep your chins up, hug your friends, pay your student loans.

Love,

dtown 82˚ and sunny as it comes.

you're fired!

well. it's not quite like that, but well, really it is.

Hey! welcome home! i just spent a few weeks in mexico with mio. it was nice man. i tell you... we were in the warm water. We got out of that smelly hot sticky city for a couple of minutes, and it was great. real soul searching stuff. I relaxed on the white sand beaches of Tulum, on the yucatan peninsula, just a few hours south of Cancun, and a few more hours north of say, belize. it was good times man, and right on time i tell you. I was getting really tired. the city will wear a fella out, especially if you're working a lot, and not resting a lot, and it's summer, and there are barbeques and parties to attend. it was beautiful to go to someplace warm and quiet. someplace where electricity is a luxury that most folks can't afford, and you just chill on the beach with the yerba buena, and when the sun goes down, you light some candles and chill some more. Just what the doctor ordered.

but with anything good, always (always always) comes something bad. and for me the bad was getting "let go" from my job, two days before my vacation ended.

don't ask. I honestly don't have a reason why. All the reasons i suggested were specifically denied, so your guess is as good as mine.

but on a lighter note, it's given me some time to try and sort through this heap of images i've got growing like lichen on a tree in my hard drives. There were some glitches when i brought the drive from my old job on home, and those glitches resulted in the loss of some data, but also some tweaked metadata on the images, so i've decided to post the images this round according to the dates listed in the metadata. I didn't bother with any sequencing, other than the way and order they came off of the cards, and in a strange way i find it satisfying. I mean, it's easy to scroll through and say things like, "well, i think this would be cooler if it were in front of this other one." or "but why bother putting those forks (high fashion) on that link at all?" or, "after con's lipstick, it should be martin's cupcake, and why don't you wrap up with an inverted sara?" but i tell you i find it satisfying to just let them roll.

there is also one sequence tweak i made which is subtle, but with good reason. the link numbered 7 should technically be link number 1, but it's close to my heart, and there are less images than the others, so i made it come last. It will make sense when i make my next post, and part two of number 7 is at the front.

so there's some tulum, my vacation photos. there's some stuff from right before we left the city. there's some stuff in there from a trip i took to vermont a few months back, and there's a couple of parties from my old job.

ha! my old job.
i tell you. for a couple of days i was honestly expecting someone to say there'd been a mistake. it's actually not a better place without me. talk about arrogant!!!

i get the picture man.
i do.

So, in the next few days i'm hoping to continue sorting through the back log of images. i had a big scare after i was dismissed from the studio, it was like, i got home with my hard drive which had all the stuff i've been shooting but never getting home to download, and well, i was trying to merge them at home, and all hell broke loose. i nearly lost all of my photos and all of my music when hard drive A collapsed. But, with some firmware updates, and some lucky back ups on a 3rd drive, i only lost a handful of music, and about 1000 pictures all told. it's a big library here, so 1000 pictures down the tubes is really like losing a cigarette from the pack. i'm okay with it. (probably because i'm worried about more important things like, you know? The Rent?!)

no. don't worry. i'll be good. that's what everyone keeps telling me.

i'm not likely to rent some big assed caddilac and drive it out to Yucca Valley and stop at the local hardware store for a 25 foot garden hose to attach to the tailpipe in case i wanted to take a nap listening to XM radio surrounded by joshua trees or anything like that. That's the sort of thing this guy i know's jewish mother would say. And one thing i ain't is some guy's jewish mother.

sure, the relaxation and solace of my vacation evaporated on monday september 12, sometime long about 4 or 5 o'clock; but really it wasn't the vacation's fault. the vacation was fantastic. that vibe might have lasted for at least six months or more, it's just the impact of black monday was a bit like a sock in the gut... took the wind out of me. the timing was magnificent. It was like if you came home from vacation to find out your house had disappeared in a hurricane. And mine didn't. So, it's not so bad at all when you think of it like that. i'm sure i'll be every bit as well off as the critics say.

(relax. i'm just venting. i tell you, when you aren't terribly emotional, it's surprising the sorts of things that'll pop out of your mouth when it ain't your mouth doing the talking...)

Listen, enjoy the photos. they're a blast from my past, and i've got a few more coming to wrap up the summer season, and then i guess i'll start making some new pictures. I should let you know, that when i got to mexico, both of my cameras died in a way. but after about a week, i decided, you know, i'll click the shutter anyway, and it'll be like i'm taking pictures. Guess what? the camera takes pictures, but like film, so i don't see them until i get home. God Bless the matrix meter. Somehow the pictures still come out alright. i guess that photoschool taught me something useful after all...

listen, be nice to each other. play fair. if something's eating at you, tell somebody. if somebody's eating at you, go ahead and let them know. sometimes you can wait too long to let them know, and by god, you might end up really hurting someone's feelings over something very small.

(i'm reading the english translation of Norwegian Wood)

welp. i gotta brush my teeth and get to bed.
not that i have to be somewhere, it's just that i've finally got to the part of my life where i can just go to bed when i'm done with the stuff around the house.

i feel like i'm finally growing up.
you know, a year ago tonight i was lying in bed all doped up on percocets and vicodins with a broken collar bone. where does the time go?

love and kisses,
i've missed you.

dtown 77˚ and a full but waning moon. i'm listening to groove salad for old time's sake.

Chris from TVT

ah.

what a week. my friend chris from TVT records died last night. 33 years old. He was a punk rocker. He was a guitar playing true blue new york underground musician. Rest In Peace ol' pal. it's been a kooky week. i tell you this much.

and hey, aside from people dying and losing their jobs and all that business, somehow in the process of merging my photo libraries, i've lost hundreds of pictures. i'm chalking it up to spending too much time working, and not enough time editing and posting images. so some are gone, and i'm not losing any tears over it, so neither should you. I won't worry about what i lost if you don't wonder what they might have been. digital media is not without its drawbacks, and hey, if i was sitting here typing and both drives on my desk just took a shit, and the internal drive collapsed as well, i'd still be able to take more pictures.

i seem to have lost a camera as well. It's got some great footage from my last party with the studio, but as i pour over these pictures, i see that perhaps i spent too much time documenting my life with the studio anyway. Folks would get the impression that all i ever cared about was life at shootdigital studios which isn't entirely true. I mean, sure, it was the biggest part of my life, but you know? there is more to me than making sure your cameras and packs are working and look like new. I like other things too. i like rock and roll, i like tequila and squirt. i like the left coast.

i'm going to get back to the import business of those images that want to be in the library, and hopefully by today's end, we'll be organized, and i can spend some time thinking about editing before it's too late to think, and too late to do.

love you all,
keep your chins to the sky, and your hearts pounding under your rib cages.

_d 79˚ and sticky

black wednesday

today i "cleaned out my drawer". i also performed the walk of shame with my box it was different for me, because i didn't really have a drawer, and i didn't really have a box.

in my case i had a studio apartment's contents, and a wheelchair. sadly, i had wanted to leave the wheelchair for the people i used to work with to enjoy, but i frankly had too many things to carry. (a wheelchair is a surefire way to ensure you get a front seat on the bus by the way)

it was also awkward, because it was the day i brought all the gifts i had gathered while in mexico on vacation to give to my friends at work. i guess it's surreal in a way, and i suppose that's the story of my life.

i feel well rested now. i think i'm the most rested i've been in years. the last time i had so much time off was just about this time one year ago, when i was lying in bed doped up on percs and vicodins with a broken collar bone. it will be the anniversary of that crash in just a couple more days.

getting fired is interesting when it comes on the heals of a much needed vacation. i described it to a friend on the left coast as something akin to going to an expensive spa for a full day of massage and aroma therapy and all the bells and whistles, and then you step out the door and get hit by a bus.

it's like, the pain is so intense and sudden that you're sure you must have died, so it's not so bad at all. I feel like i've been walking around in that movie Waking Life for three days.

but it's been nice to see my girlfriend every day. to have dinners together, to lie in bed and read together, to work on my own computer and work on my images, which i am working on by the way.

i'm meeting some friends for dinner tonight, and that ought to be nice. they should be here any minute. I wonder if it will be mexican, or japanese, or middle eastern? something. i know it will be something. and i'm hungry just now, so until the next time...

black tuesday

yesterday, i was fired from my job.

black monday

today i was fired from my job.