Personal Days

you know, i'm all fixed over here. Finally, i've got the photoshop reinstalled and working, i've updated the dreamweaving software, for weaving my dreams, so that's all working. I've got the new everything. Dreamweaver 8. Photoshop CS3, what else could i need? Oh, i got a new camera too. (thanks Katzy!) Yes. we went around and around on it, when mine got stolen last week, (which did piss me off) and you know me, i'm not a big fan of just going out and buying the new shit because it's new. And there weren't any cameras out there that were doing what i wanted for the price i wanted to pay. Everyone was getting all uppity about the new Canon G7. But i wasn't feeling it. A lot of people like it. I mean, for one, it's Black. People like black cameras. They always have. And it's got a nice User Interface so when you use the little scroll wheel or whatever, it's cool. And everyone has some big thing to say about the fact that it uses a regular camera strap.

For some reason, that part actually pisses me off. I don't mind that it uses a regular camera strap, but that THAT is the element everyone is fucking goo-goo over makes me go bananas. (I GO BANANAS)

Me? I liked my Canon A70. Bang for the buck, there was nothing better out there. Then, they stopped making it and made the A620. Now that camera had a nice little bit of upgrading, and i really liked it. Vast improvement over the A70. But elsewise? Na. there's no justification for cameras going like they're going now. People on the street would say that the G7 is the best one out there in that range of cameras. But i tell you, i just couldn't get a feel for it. It's got no grip. It's got that god damned proprietary battery. It's difficult to use with one hand. And it AIN'T CHEAP. But if it ain't cheap, it needs to have a lot more balls. So after my exhaustive research, i decided on the A640. It's basically the same as every camera i've had all along, except it's black. Everyone likes a black camera.

Here's how i decide on a camera. I really ask myself these questions.

Is it inexpensive?
Is it easy to use?
Can I use it with one hand?
Can I use regular batteries in a pinch?
If it gets stolen, lost, or broken, does that event MURDER my savings?
Is it cumbersome?
Do I even HAVE any savings?
What the fuck. Why is my savings always coming into things?
What am i doing here?
Why do i have to choose inexpensive things?
Aren't I good enough that i should just have the BALLSY camera?
Why don't I just have 2 Ballsy Cameras instead?!

and so on.
So, in the end, I will default to the top of the line poor man's camera, vs. the bottom of the line rich man's camera. And sure. It was cheap. In my case, all i had to do was Turn Old. But, bang for buck, it's a good value.

So, a page later, the point is, New Camera. New Software. New Year. and there i am looking at the index page, and i just Don't Feel Like It. I click on the picture, and i think, well. what's a good picture to put in there? On the cover. And i'm immediately like, "Right. Like I want to start sorting through all of that stuff again..." and an hour ticks by.

So i'm not sure if i'm fixed yet. I'm taking some "personal" days. To figure out just what's going to happen. Just how i'm going to address this problem. It's not that i don't have the energy. It's something else entirely. I'm sure of it.

But i'm here. I'm trying. I'm not floundering. i'm not really anything. but i'm... well. I am.