Wednesday, December 07, 2005

diddy poo

wow! i'm so excited! i never realized i was even eligible for this award! Thank you so much!!! (quickly unfolds prepared notes behind the podium, glances out past the foot lights) i've got to give thanks to a few people without who's help i wouldn't be here tonight! Please don't play the "wrap it up" song too soon! (chuckles selfconsciously),

Firstly, i'd really like to thank Paul from over to NonWord, for getting me all tuned in with the coding for the archives. There's just so much to know man, i mean, "the internet" you know? it's just real nice to know there are some folks out there that already know about it. So thank you. Without your help, i would likely still be trying to understand why Safari and Explorer don't just step to the plate with the latest coding standards! (comically knowing wink to stage-left audience).

And i have to give it up for ToddC, up in the snow belt. He is living proof that people actually come to this site, and i'm not just making shit up while i hassle and hustle over this keyboard wondering if anyone actually sees it. Without his occasional prodding, it is likely there would be no more upates to this site ever again. Primarily because he seems to be the only one who has noticed the little email link on the bottom of the main page (except of course the target-or-kmart & pepsi-or-coke survey people) it's nice to get feedback from around the planet, but i'll be honest, Minneapolis seems to be all i got! (self depricating laugh, or perhaps glances down at notes briefly. ad-lib, feel free to use both...) Also, i'd like to thank Dr. DeEtte Deville for inspiring me to make a short movie on the new machine! i don't know, it could really be a new beginning for me!(gushes toward camera 2) I would link your site here but it seems badly in need of an update! (still gushing. begins to snicker inwardly. points fake hand gun finger at general area of Dr. Deville seated conveniently near the front. She by the way, looks smashing tonight.)

I really could go on and on, but i won't. I will however be giving Mad Props to Ok! Magazine for paying to see my sexy ass on a fancy leather couch, so that it would be warm enough for Diddy himself, and then plying government secrets out of me with a bottomless glass of Hpnotiq. Which, if you don't know, I'll tell you, is the hypnotically-electric-blue shit you find only at THE FINEST liquor stores. Cognac and Grey Goose, folks. And a whole bunch of other tasty shit that pounds your head right into the floor, but with a really nice vibe... Thank you ladies. That was a night i'm still rememebering right now... (tongue in cheek, or contemplative inner cheek gnaw with slight lip pucker, glance upward, apparently reminiscing.)

The images in today's update go back to Misho's birthday party over at D.B.A., and roll on forward thru just last night. (pause, shift gaze)

Last night incidentally, was the night before the anniversary of the OLD Pearl Harbor (a significant historical event which occurred in the pacific theater only 64 years ago) Which is interesting when viewed in contrast to the NEW Pearl Harbor you may have been hearing more about lately, involving the current administration and ( ...oh! of course a big redhook holla! to them freedom lovin' authors of The Northwoods Project circa 1962!) it got me to thinking. What were all those soldiers doing the night before those attacks 64 years ago? what were all the 20 somethings doing around the world? what were the moms and dads, and little kids up to that night? The night before? Do they still remember? Do you remember what you were doing the night before The New Pearl Harbor? I do. and i thought of it last night. It was similar actually. Partying with friends, drinking off base drinks, having a great ol' time. Not a care in the world. Funny how a thing like a "Pearl Harbor" can change all kinds of things. It's funny the things that will pop up and remind you of your past. Where you are now, and where you're going.

What have you been doing with your life up until now?
What sorts of things did you want to do a year ago?
Are you there yet?
Are you closer?!

I think i am in some ways, and not so much in others.

Without meaning to sound political, (but what the hell? It's Pearl Harbor Day) I've been hearing there are folks out there who still stand up for George W. Bush, and i gotta tell you, and not meaning to sound condescending, but, who ever you are, if you really exist, stop being an idiot! Know when to say "when" already.

(suddenly realizes this is not a 20mg nicotine patch induced lucid dream, but an actual public ceremony...)

I mean, HEY!!! Happy Birthday!!!! Wooohooo!!!!

(hoists imaginary award, looks for foxy broad in a $4200 Alexander McQueen dress to escort from the stage, clears throat, sips a little water from the glass on the podium)

So anyways, this is what i've got. It's where i am as of today. As of right this very now. At this moment, the only new news is that a marshall apparently shot a bipolar dude on a plane in florida. The news says it's the first time an air marshall has shot at a passenger since september 11, 2001, which, in a round about way brings me back to the New Pearl Harbor. I don't recall any marshalls shooting at any passengers on september 11, 2001. Do any of you remember that? Of course by tomorrow, they'll have found a way to rephrase that passage in all the papers, and you'll not likely see that sort of loose-lips-style reporting in the papers again.

(thinks to self, "woops! did i say that out loud?" Bows to camera. Winks to friends eating pastry puffs at the front of the stage.)

well anyway, thank you again so much. thank you for coming tonight, i really am just beside myself with pride! i feel like my own face might erupt in a dazzling lava flow of sparkling stars and pure glowing-love-energy for all of you!

(holographic halo appears briefly overhead. Halo vaporizes while turning to link elbows with the foxy broad in the expensive dress. exit stage to stunned silence, followed by thunderous nerd beats jocks in crappy 80's movie style applause. All house and stage lights flash blindingly, 3 short bursts, then only orchestra-pit and foot lights. curtain drops, crowd roars.)

The End

dTown 29˚ listening to Juliana Hatfield, Metal Fume Fever.

1 Comments:

Anonymous con bon said...

hahahahahaha
i can see what you say

2:09 PM  

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