On Laurence and Hope

Every now and again, i'll receive a letter from someone who checks back to the site regularly, and they'll say something like, "hey man. you've gotta update. it's all i've got in this little cubicle of life i'm trapped in. come on! i'm dying over here."

Or, they might say something like, "THROW US A BONE UP HERE!"

And usually that will kick start my little engine, and i'll put the hustle on and get those images out to press. I'll sit at the Adobe Bridge ("To the BRIDGE captain!!!") And of course, once i get to the bridge, it all starts coming together, a bit like how folks always say, "the hardest part about riding a bicycle is throwing your leg over that damned top-tube."

Yesterday i got a letter that i'll post here for you below.

incidentally to get the full effect, you have to read it with one of those south-african-english accents. But to yourself. Because your english accent is typically horrible.

"motherfucking dipshit.

whathefuck. so I went out to some local haunt that has been written up, this "popular" where the gay wait staff are SO FUCKING important that you have to beg for your cheese and beer .. even so, the beer is good and the cheese is so rotten it melts in your mouth and is SO damn good because of it.

BUCK the fuck up camper ... you're mother fucking brilliant and should have been out with me tonight for a good time casual style ... drinks at Bembe - Carpeta ... nectar of the goddess ...

I need mind food man, my friends rely on me for mental candy ... but a boy needs that stuff too ... you know what I mean?

so buck up ... there are little kids that look to your blog site for hope."

There are little kids that look to my blog site for hope.

Hope.

Now that's something. I am the beacon of light shining across the ether. The waving banner of glory that gets the early bird out on deck for the big tasty worms... The dude that makes it easier for somebody in the middle of nowhere say to himself, "Now i think i can make it today. I'll just get a pat of butter or something. It's really not so bad."

Me. This little blog. It gives people hope.

huh. I never thought of it like that. I've always thought my site was in some ways a site about making people question the possibility of hope. The existence of hope. But, as it turns out, it's not the first time i've heard it. I've even fielded some phone calls where people have told me that my purpose in life, much bigger than digital asset management, is to give people hope.

Hope for change. Hope for a better future. Hope for success in all that they do. The promise of the coming day. All that kind of stuff.

Little ol' me.

Lately, i've been making photos. I've been pretty steady and i would even say i've been on point a few times with the images i've been capturing with my little canon. I've even been inspired myself when i see the image develop on the little 2 inch LCD screen. I mean, sure, it's not the same as huffing glacial acetic acid in the dark room and watching the silver particles washing down the drain and off to the nearest river, but it's still a bit of magic when you press a button, and a moment later there is a bit of history forever frozen in time. Compressed into a series of Ones and Zeros, that some how make up all there is to know about that very moment. I get to shove all those ones and zeros into the side pocket of my back pack until i get home. Hundreds of little moments captured in a box about the size of a pack of Triple Fives, and hanging in a mesh pouch on the side of my back pack. History narrowed down to 1 gigabyte on a mini-sd card.

And with that little card, I administer hope.

For three weeks now i've sat in front of this machine at various times trying to organize and arrange a bit of hope for the masses, never once really knowing that that's what i was doing. I thought i was just editing my life into moments i thought the viewers might find interesting. Or humorous. Or subversive. But images of HOPE ?
It had never occurred to me.

Rather than make an argument against the possibility of hope, I will say only this.

Hope it is.

There is hope. Hope is still here. Hope is in my backpack. It is layered in stripes across my external firewire hard drives. Hope is staging gently in little folders being packed and observed from The Bridge.

I am busy with other things, but still there is time to press a button in the day. I still take that time. I am still focusing on the things that i find to be shiny and sparkly, even if to me, shiny and sparkly comes in the form of a lump of dog-shit with a toothbrush stuck in it. It's something. It's proof that there IS hope. Only, lately i've been very disconnected, sort of adrift in the wash of New York comes July.

Hunting for a home. Packing my wares into boxes and huffing them down the 3 flights to earth. Minimizing my accessories. Hunting. Gathering. And not the least of which, i've been resting. I think that if it were up to 75% of my public audience, they would have blamed it on Mercury's ugly slip into retrograde. God knows that's how i looked at it. Oh, it must be that Mercury is Retrograde. And how ironic that it bails out of retrograde completely TODAY. That hope is available TODAY.

I say this to the sound of NBC TV Four's news chopper, chop chop chopping the air over my house. Lucky for me i decided to wake up at 6:30 instead of 6:50, because there is nothing i hate more than a fucking news chopper, chop chop chopping over my fucking HEAD when i'm trying to sleep. I mean, FUCK THEM. What gives them the right? to just HANG over people's homes for an hour or two chop chop chopping the air into tiny little pieces and all of the noise that comes with it?! Listen. if you're gonna go chopping up the air, do it over your own house at 6 in the morning, see what your wife has to say about it, and then take it from there. It's obnoxious.

Anyway. I guess what i am trying to say is, again, Thanks Plodiver. I appreciate it. You may be south-african, but you're alright. I won't be posting any pictures this morning, because even with the glimmer of hope, there just isn't TIME to give you something I would affix my name to.

But here is hope. I am here. I have logged into both accounts. I have swapped out an image, and i have posted to the blog. On top of this, Mercury has backed it's dumb red ass out of retrograde. Apparently from here, from today forward, it should get back to some smooth sailing.

Love and Kisses,

danconnortown | 67˚ and sunny | listening to Sky Eye Four (overhead)