and the next day,

sometimes your body and your mind are put through a series of tests, and if you're not really a test person, it can be very trying. Me? I think i'm built for them. There's always some new test i was born to take. So, no sooner than i write a story about what's crazy delicious to me, the value of friends, the interconnectivity of the universe and the love and the sun and the moon, and i'm realizing these things while i'm writing, i'm reconnecting. i'm healing, i'm adjusting, i'm getting over the bad taste in my mouth, i get to take a new test.

But me? well. there is the shock of it. of course. And ironically, NO i'm not thinking about shootdigital any more. In fact, i've been able to fall straight to sleep at night for a few days now. I don't know if it's because last friday i felt that i was finally getting over the shootdigital thing, or if it's because this new wrinkle has trumped my expectations of my own history. Whatever it is, i am able to sleep. I am not tossing and turning. I do not wake up with the question of "WHY WOULD KEVIN BACON FIRE ME FROM Sd?! What the fuck?! WHY? WHY? GOD DAMN IT WHY?! That's just fucking fucked up! FUCK!" pounding and driving and hammering back and forth in my brain. And for that, at almost any cost, i am grateful.
Another thing that's made it much easier to bear is this sort of psychic connection i have with people around the planet. I don't know how to explain it, but it is very real. Not more than 5 minutes after Mio breaks it off with me, the doorbell rings, and it is none other than my great friend, Burnt, just back from three weeks in europe, stopping by out of the blue.
Having great friends around when the lightning strikes is very good for the soul. Having them show up at your door within minutes of the strike is the dTown rollercoaster. Story of my life. He stayed the weekend, and we made pictures and had some drinks and i recharged.
But more than burnt, even more random reconnects are happening. I've been getting emails from people i haven't seen or spoken with in years. some of them 5 years, some of them 10 years, and i mean, all just out of the blue, and all just in the past few days. It would be uncanny if it weren't me. But somehow, this is how it always is with me, and i think that is why i am handling this all so well. I feel like i reached a turning point last week, and though it is a hassle, getting your heart broke, and getting your wallet broke, and apple releasing the Intel Chip Macs 1 month after i buy a new machine, i mean, all of it would and should be enough to drive a lesser man to his knees. But somehow, this time, it ain't me. I'm not on my knees. I'm not shouting to the heavens for an explanation. There is no explanation. Or rather, the only explanation is that i am me. And that is how my life rolls. You're up, you're down. There is no middle of the road in danconnortown. It's a hundred miles an hour with your balls in your throat, or it's a train wreck of epic proportions, and usually they are very connected.

and you know what else? whether i'm up or down, it turns out that every where i look, there is love around. I mean, it's fucking spray painted on the walls for god's sake.
So share it, live it, love it. Above all know that i am here. I am here for me, and i am here for you.
love, kisses, hugs, and sure, i'll buy you a drink. Why the hell not?!
dTown 38˚ listening to The American Analog Set
1 Comments:
and you know what else? whether i'm up or down, it turns out that every where i look, there is love around. I mean, it's fucking spray painted on the walls for god's sake.
-- you sure are right there... took my own set of highs and lows to come to a similar conclusion, although less poetically as yours. great to hear that you are rolling with the blows and riding out the highs.
hey, dan. its kris from mercury lounge. thanks for walking to the subway with me. music rocks, and new friends rock harder :) see ya!
Post a Comment
< Home